Archive for May, 2013

It’s been awhile

I know I haven’t posted recently. Here’s why: I’m graduating!!!!!!!!!!

I’ve been so busy with everything that involves, and I’d like to take this time to say a little bit about it.

Earlier this week I had my very last choir concert, and I think I cried through about half of it. In my choir, we take a lot of time to connect emotionally, not only musically. We share a lot of personal things with each other, and the memories we make are things we share, and things that run deep. When we were standing on stage singing (in my defense it was an emotional song to begin with, and written by a recent alumni of our school) it really sunk in that this was the last time we would all sing together. I couldn’t sing the second half of the song because I was so choked up.

I switched school districts going into my freshman year of high school, so I only had four years with these people. I can still remember my first day of choir, which was at a camp to learn all-state music before school started. I didn’t know anyone, I was shy, and I was so scared. Now every single person in this choir means something to me, I have gotten to know and love them, we share so many experiences, and I have a connection to them that no one else can have. They mean so much to me because they gave me something I wouldn’t have gotten at my old school, and they accepted me and cheered me on and supported me and laughed with me and cried with me. It has truly been an amazing four years. We have one more time to sing together, at graduation. We are singing the song “for good” from the Broadway show Wicked, that we saw on tour in New York. It pretty much sums up how I feel about these people. Because I don’t get along with every single person all the time. There are people I’m really annoyed with sometimes, people who make me really angry, people who feel that way about me. But the thing about us is that we know that’s not what it’s about. It’s not about liking everyone all the time, not about feeling like all 89 of these people are your best friend. It’s about these things we share together, the things we share with each other and other people, the things we go through, the work we put in together to do something big, the achievements we make, it’s about knowing that you are the person you are because of all these other people standing around you. And when we closed our eyes and held hands and sang “i carry your heart” we felt that connection, felt a little lost in each other, felt like one voice. And when we opened our eyes and looked around, most of us had tears running down our faces.

i carry your heart with me by e e cummings
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go, my dear;and whatever is done
by only me is your doing,my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)

For Good

I’ve heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true
But I know I’m who I am today
Because I knew you…
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made from what I learned from you
You’ll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend…

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
Because I knew you
I have been changed for good.

This is why we sing. This is why I cry. This is why I’m mourning what I’m leaving behind. But because of all these voices singing as one with me, I can move on and know they are part of who I am and who I’m becoming. I will miss this. I’ll think everyday how it will never be the same but I’ll also thank God everyday that I had the chance to be a part of that, thank Him for those four years. Because they were such a blessing, and they changed my life. This sums up how I feel about everything I’m leaving here when I move in August. Memories and experiences are hard to lose and leave behind but they are always with you, because they changed you. You are different because of them, you carry them with you. You carry them in your heart.

Because I knew you, I have been changed for good.

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