Archive for March, 2013

“Molly Songs” Writing Log – 3/28/13 1:35 AM

I couldn’t sleep because I chugged Mt. Dew at 9:45 tonight (gotta have a little fun sometimes…) so I’m up writing!

I finally found it! I’m finishing this one. It’s going to include several poems in the story, and I started in on the first one just to kick off the writing process and start somewhere – and cried while writing it, and every time I went back to read what I had so far. i am definitely emotionally invested in this one. But that also means it’s hard to write. It was a very emotional experience writing just a small portion of what’s going on in this story – this is going to kill me. But it’s going to be bloody good.

It’s based on my life, at least what I wrote last night. I can’t decide whether or not I’m going to diverge and make it fictional or not, because my original idea was completely fictional but it ended up being based on me. So I’ll take it both routes and see which one I like better and then trash the other. Or it might end up being two completely different things I can use both of. We’ll see what happens! This is just the beginning and I am absolutely chuffed about it!

side note – maybe I’ll make it a screenplay?! I haven’t written one in awhile, and so far this story is so visual for me it might be better to be picturing it on screen…let the experimenting begin!

Over.

an alliterated anaphoric quatrain on things you should never regret

Never apologize for passion.

Never apologize for something you’re proud of.

Never apologize for something important to you.

Never apologize for pouring your heart out.

Updates and Downraisins

first order of business: title explanation.

So I have some updates from my last post, and some news about some stuff I will be doing. Since “update” means to give new information on past situation, and a downraisin is obviously the opposite of an update, I’ve decided that a downraisin is upcoming news.

So here’s my downraisin: (and believe it or not it’s not a new career  in comedy…)

I have begun a novel. Now to be honest, I have started many novels before, but none have caught on and I’ve never finished even a short story. But I sprung upon an idea while mopping the floor at the coffee shop I work at last evening (what better time for brainstorming) and I started writing last night and I’m really excited about this one. I will be posting logs of my writing process and a few sneak peaks along the way if you’re lucky.  Maybe in the end I’ll end up chucking this idea too, but hopefully tracking my process and progress will hold me accountable, and teach me a few things along the way.

Next item on the agenda is updates on my goals from yesterday! I’ll keep this brief.

I fancy British slang and took it upon myself to learn many useful words and phrases that I am definitely adding to my everyday vocabulary. That was my random bit of learning.

My serious thing was actually an epiphany – again at the good ol’  coffee shop. I learned that happiness is a choice, and all in how you act about your life. I had a really fun day yesterday, simply because I chose to enjoy it and have some fun. Whaddya know, it actually works!

My good deed: helping stuff Easter eggs and jelly bean prayer bags for my church’s community Easter egg hunt. Also, I’m a leader for the middle school youth group at my church, and I just had a really good time with the kids tonight. Making everyone feel welcomed, cared for, important and involved = HUGE IMPACT!  Can’t wait to see my chums again in a fortnight!

And last but not least I learned/started learning “Home” by Phillip Phillips on my guitar! Great song, and I am now realizing what a great guitar player Phil is, because my version is nowhere CLOSE at this point. Time to improve my bar chords and finger picking!

And Bob’s your uncle! (and that’s all)

Vulnerability

Vulnerability. Not a word most of us are particularly fond of. Why? Being vulnerable is uncomfortable. We don’t like to step away from the things we know and the things that are easy for us and sacrifice comfort for the sake of something unknown, that may or may not be worth  all the trouble.

But here’s my question: what achievement worth having ever came as a result of living comfortable and easy? Every discovery starts with a journey, one that doesn’t always look promising at the start, one that may end in defeat and dead ends, one that may be a waste of time. It’s hard to justify a decision like that. Besides, expanding your horizons is as simple as it is easy – not at all. In the world we live in today we have so many opportunities that it’s hard to know where to start. But start small! Think of the things you want to do. Don’t shoot them down right away, don’t write them off. Figure out how it’s possible. Transform your world. Your life is what you make it. Don’t think you have to be the shape the world is molding you into, color outside the lines and decide for yourself!

I woke up this morning feeling small and defeated. But hey, you know what that means? It means the world is big and wide open! There’s so much to learn and explore. When did that go from being exciting and fortunate to being belittling and discouraging?! My goal for today is to learn something new, learn something different, do something kind for someone, and learn a new song on my guitar. It’s doable, and it’s a step forward, and now I’m looking forward to what today holds. Right at that moment when you feel smallest, that’s the moment where you have the most opportunity – don’t back away from that! Be a little vulnerable, forget what people will think, and learn from what you do. Putting yourself out there will not always end nicely, sometimes it’s embarrassing, sometimes you’ll realize it was a mistake, but here’s a bit of news: everyone makes mistakes, and until you’re willing to put aside your comfort and ease the things in life really worth having will be behind a locked door for you.

A few wise words from my good man Stephen King: “The scariest moment is always right before you start.” And it really is, it really is. Because after you take that leap, the worst part is over. It’s that moment where you’re about to jump and you have no idea how this is going to turn out that scares us most…after the fact, you’re in and rolling and you just go with what happens.

That was my motivational speech for me this morning, but I hope it was beneficial to you too!

New post tomorrow about my goals for today.

 

 

a whimsy of winter

I would like to share an entrancing kiss

Beneath such mystic trees as this,

And I’d surely agree to marry he

Who should propose in such realms of silent bliss.

 

A few words composed in my head while looking out of my window on a wintry day. In one word: spellbinding. 

A Slipping Away

A slipping away of the expected,

Stealing away from the ordinary.

The more of him seen, the less familiar he seemed,

And all previous knowledge too hastily deemed.

A gradual fade from assumed convitions,

A natural fall from implied restrictions,

A sudden realization of the truth of it all

And a flash of the pride before the fall.

A beautiful turn upon the deception,

A blind ignorance to the truth of perception.

A quickening divergence from early predictions,

A swift liberation from reckless convictions.

A shattered image of the visage reflected,

A rebuilding from new sensations collected.

A little by little change in direction

That transforms the reflected into the reflection.

 

A few words on first impressions and how quickly and drastically opinions can change.

“Winter Crypt”

Just a little something I cooked up in my spare time. I wrote an alteration of lines 9-12 while driving on a winter morning. Scribbled it down fast and came back to it later. Here’s the initial thought: “I don’t know why people are so scared of freezing to death. Winter is so beautiful. If I had to die in some unfortunate turn of events I’d like to die in something so beautiful.” Logical or morbid? I’ll let you decide.

Kill me in winter on any day

While the shimmering frost drifted down.

Let the falling sky smother me hushed as it may,

I won’t shatter the silence as in stillness I drown.

Slaughter me in the flurry of icy design

Mesmerized, I won’t utter a word.

Dazzle me down to an eerie sublime

Spell-bound in a white tomb asleep and unstirred.

Let me die by ice, I won’t complain

And with pleasure will I go

By the hand of beauty to be slain

And buried in a sparkling sepulcher of snow.

Destroy me in blizzards of glowing mystique

Lullabyed in the trance of a wintery crypt.

In the calm aftermath of arctic massacre bleak,

A ghostly air moving in the innocent drift.

Unmoving fog frozen on skeleton trees,

Whispering silence, the holding of breath.

Rattling bones speak of the evaporated returning of seas

Retelling the scene of phantom visions of death.

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